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Why Your Child Can’t Sleep, Focus, or Self-Regulate (Hint: It’s Not Just ADHD) | Blog Post 10

Let’s talk about something we don’t talk about enough: the massive role technology — especially video games — is playing in childhood dysregulation.

Screens aren’t just a part of our kids’ lives anymore. For many of them, they are their lives. And while technology has its place (we’ll talk pros too), the way it’s affecting sleep, mood, regulation, and learning should have every parent, teacher, and policymaker paying attention.



Video Games and the Rise of Dysregulation

We’re seeing:

  • Kids who are chronically sleep-deprived

  • Students furious to be at school because it takes them away from their virtual world

  • Children lashing out, withdrawing, or refusing to engage

  • Families who no longer eat meals together or follow a daily rhythm

  • Adults addicted too, unknowingly modeling the same dysregulation they’re frustrated about

And the developing brain? It’s taking the biggest hit.



Let’s Get Into the Science

The brain develops through connection, movement, sleep, and practice regulating emotions. But technology — especially fast-paced, dopamine-rewarding video games — hijacks that process:

  • Sleep deprivation: Blue light and overstimulation delay melatonin release and train the brain to stay in a hyper-alert state.

  • Reward system disruption: Dopamine surges from gaming can make real-world tasks feel dull, causing motivation crashes.

  • Time blindness: Many personality types, especially perceivers (like ENFPs, INTPs, ESFPs), already struggle with time awareness. Add immersive games, and they’re completely disconnected from the clock.

  • Emotional regulation: The lack of boredom, quiet, and unstructured time means kids aren’t practicing patience, frustration tolerance, or emotional flexibility.



It’s Not About Blame — It’s About Awareness

This isn’t about vilifying video games. For many kids, gaming is a passion, a connection point, a creative outlet. But when it replaces human connection, physical movement, and sleep? It becomes a regulation crisis.

And we’re seeing the ripple effects now:

  • Tantrums lasting into the teen years

  • Kids with zero frustration tolerance

  • Families living in emotional chaos

  • Classrooms full of students in withdrawal-mode before 9am



What Can We Do?

We start by reframing the conversation. Instead of: “My kid just won’t listen.” Try: “What unmet needs are driving this behavior?"

Strategies:

  1. Audit screen time as a family. This isn’t just about kids.

  2. Create a bedtime protocol (and stick to it) — no screens an hour before bed.

  3. Use a timer at transitions, and let children know when a transition is coming.

  4. Use the strike system, and counting backwards to give them control in making the right choice.

  5. Match limits to personality type — some kids need hard structure (INFJ), others need choices with clear expectations (ESTP).

  6. Teach replacement habits — redirect that dopamine chase into movement, nature, building, music, or art.



Let’s Talk About Parents, Too

We can’t expect our kids to self-regulate if we’re constantly scrolling, gaming, or avoiding structure ourselves. Many adults are also:

  • Not sleeping enough

  • Using screens as an escape from stress

  • Forgetting to model routines and regulation

And it’s okay. This isn’t to shame. It’s a call to return to being intentional humans again. We’re learning right alongside our kids.



Final Thought

Video games aren’t inherently bad. But unregulated tech + unregulated brains = a perfect storm.

Let’s reset. Let’s reconnect. Let’s remember: regulation isn’t just about saying no — it’s about building a life that doesn’t require constant escape.

Next Post: the role of food and movement in regulation, and how to build the Three F’s into your home: Food, Fresh Air, and Fun.

More resources on the 16 personalities, child development, classroom management, and even structured literacy - can be found at: mindchild.net


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